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Putting back on my big boots because summer is leaving, but love the autumn & it’s almost Virgo time, birthday coming up. Another year, another me. Bring it on. Change is coming. Got to keep on moving forward #virgo #september #autumn #friday #endofaugust #modelpic #blackandwhjte #classic #classicman #flashbackfriday #beastcentral
Have you learnt anything about yourself during this time?
Having to stay indoors and not have much to distract me has left me struggling to stay motivated a lot of the time. I have fallen back on to bad habits like eating a lot, dating online. I am also spending a lot of time on my phone speaking to people, procrastination and watching a lot of trash TV. So it has shocked me how much I spend time on my bad habits. However, this experience has made me realise a few things. I want to find someone to settle down with. I really want to get a place and have a bit more security in life. I keep thinking about how to make money but this is a constant.
I am spending more time with my mum and brothers which is nice, and more time on the phone with people who I don’t normally speak as much to. So some relationships have actually strengthened because of all this!
I actually feel like I have chilled out in many ways. Possibly because I am with my family. When I was alone in London or Oxford, I occasionally found myself in a depressed state and not in a good way. However, with this pandemic I weirdly don’t feel as bad. I must admit I do feel helpless in some ways, but I think that is due to money issues because of work being up in the air and not being able to provide for myself. This is of course worrying but I am hopeful that it will not be like this forever.
Yes. When I hit 30 and I was living in Oxford I had a worrying time. I had burst my ear drum and I was struggling with it mentally. At the same time, I wasn’t happy with my progress in life and was constantly comparing myself to others, which is a silly thing to do. But we all do it, right? I wanted to be an actor and was not getting anywhere with it and found that really frustrating. I couldn’t distract myself with my usual habits, like watching TV, going out and dating women because of my condition. I found it hard to sleep and all this combined sent me into a spiral of decline and was feeling worthless and not sure about what to do. I used to write a lot of poetry at this time to express the way I was feeling. This helped but it was a very dark time for me. Luckily, the support of those around me helped get back only feet again.
I have always been very respectful of women. I’m a mummy’s boy! Always have been. That said, I’ve been on the other end and had inappropriate remarks said to me when I was trying out as an actor. A couple of photographers and directors even asked me to do inappropriate things during shoots. Luckily when I said no they were okay with it. It was annoying at the time and I didn’t know how to act but I was lucky not to receive any physical abuse or be blackmailed to do anything I did not want to do like other people.