Writer and soap fan Paul Lang writes an open letter to the producers of Emmerdale to bring soap superb itch Kim Tate back to to the Dales.

Dear Emmerdale bigwigs

You’re no doubt already aware that Claire King – your former superbitch, Kim Tate – has quit her role as Erica Holroyd in Coronation Street. This will most likely have been as much of a shock to you as it was to us viewers – she’s hardly been in it for the last year, so you probably thought she’d left ages ago.


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Like us, you probably felt a bit sad as you watched Erica’s storylines dwindle away to nothing. Introduced as an old pal of Liz McDonald’s from her days in Spain, it seemed at first that she might help to fill the Deirdre-shaped gap in the landlady’s life – and ours. But it wasn’t to be.


At first, the signs were good, when she ended up pregnant after a shock bunk-up with Nick Tilsley. There was loads of dramatic potential in her being an older mum, especially as it would have made her a natural adversary for Gail, who firmly believes no woman is good enough for her beloved Nicky.

FROM ITV STRICT EMBARGO - TV Listings Magazines & websites Tuesday 9 December 2014, Newspapers Saturday 13 December 2014 - If unsure please email david.crook@itv.com Coronation Street - Ep 8533 Monday 15 December 2014 - 2nd Ep In the bistro, Gail McIntyre [HELEN WORTH] catches impatient Erica [CLAIRE KING] helping herself to a drink, leaving the money on the bar. Irked by Erica’s brass neck, Gail orders Nick Tilsley [BEN PRICE] to throw her out and when he fails to do so, Gail flounces out herself. Feeling guilty, Erica offers to take over Gail’s duties. Nick’s impressed by Erica’s flair for customer service and offers to pay her, but she hands him her number and asks him to call instead! Picture contact: david.crook@itv.com on 0161 952 6214 Photographer - Joseph Scanlon This photograph is (C) ITV Plc and can only be reproduced for editorial purposes directly in connection with the programme or event mentioned above, or ITV plc. Once made available by ITV plc Picture Desk, this photograph can be reproduced once only up until the transmission [TX] date and no reproduction fee will be charged. Any subsequent usage may incur a fee. This photograph must not be manipulated [excluding basic cropping] in a manner which alters the visual appearance of the person photographed deemed detrimental or inappropriate by ITV plc Picture Desk. This photograph must not be syndicated to any other company, publication or website, or permanently archived, without the express written permission of ITV Plc Picture Desk. Full Terms and conditions are available on the website www.itvpictures.com

Sadly, she lost the baby and drifted apart from Nick – right into the arms of dreadful Dev, who she’s been lumbered with ever since. Stuck behind the counter of the corner shop, which nobody ever seems to visit these days, Erica has been pricing up Happy Shopper beans when she should have been out on the cobbles, getting up to mischief.

There are rumours flying around that Erica’s about to have a summer fling with notorious love-rat Kevin Webster. Firstly, that seems like it’s too little, too late. And secondly, KEVIN WEBSTER? No. This woman is a legend to a whole generation of gay men of a certain age who wanted to bag off with Dave Glover behind the stables, and we think it’s about time she got the recognition she’s earned.


I mean, seriously. Claire King was KIM BLOODY TATE. She deserves better. And you can make that happen. Yes, GuysLikeU is begging – no, DEMANDING – that you snap Claire up immediately and bring back Kim Tate to cause havoc in Emmerdale once again.

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Let’s not forget, Kim was a woman who could bed a toyboy, fake her own death, stand smirking while she let her husband die of a heart attack in front of her, plot a daring helicopter escape AND deliver a foal that’s got stuck half down a horse’s whatsit WITH ONE HAND TIED BEHIND HER BACK – and all before the Woolpack even opened its doors at 11am.


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With the rumoured departure of John Bowe as the current Lord Muck of Home Farm, there’s even a likely to be a vacancy. What could be a better Christmas present for soap fans than to see Chrissie and the rest of the White clan slung out on their ears, turkey and all, before they’ve even pulled the first cracker. Kim could then resume her rightful place as Queen Bitch of the Dales, and be rolling in the hay with a hunky young lover by Valentine’s Day 2018.

Come on, Emmerdale – make it happen!


A Gay

ps – she was pretty good in Bad Girls too.