Fact. David McIntosh is a staggeringly handsome man! Just look at him! Tall, dark, rippling with naturally produced muscles, he is a sight for sore eyes. In fact, the longer we gawp at him, the more we wanna hurl ourselves at him and slide down him as if he were a fire man’s pole. Sigh!
You probably know the fine-looking fella most from the tabloid coverage he received when he was dating a certain glamour puss but there’s more to this fella than the girls he’s been out with.
He’s a model, an actor, a fitness guru, a former marine, ex-Celeb Big Brother housemate and – when you meet him in all that glossy, flawless flesh – he’s a hoot. With his broad Wigan accent and a quirky turn of phrase, he has us in hysterics as we blabber our way through our Qs.
But what we love about him most, is that in spite of his macho macho marine background, he’s down with the gays.
Here, the larger-than-life so-and-so opens up about fame, how he likes to please his gay fans and those tackle shots that leaked online!
You’ve been away so long what have you been up to?
I’ve been drinking gallons of champagne and gorging on delicate caviar whilst aimlessly sailing around the Caribbean for the past year, accompanied with my bloody good butler James Stuart the 3rd and my all female Brazilian sailing team. Don’t you dare question my fictional story, guys, it makes me sleep well at night! Ha! Actually, I’ve been in Australia and America doing a lot of writing for a book I’m working on. Most people don’t realise but I am a bit of keen writer and some have compared me to a modern day Dickens! Also I’ve preparing for some real naughty things coming this year which soon you shall witness.
Oooh, you tease! Now, David, let’s talk about that body. It’s, like, ridiculous, right? You must spend all your time taking selfies or looking in the mirror!
Wow…. First of all I would like to thank you for appreciating my physique but I have to admit I’m confused and utterly outraged about your line questioning…. Do I spend all my time staring in the mirror!!! Why, YES…. yes, of course I do, it’s a serious condition, you know, one I struggle with on a daily basis
We think you look pretty perfect. But are you one of those guys who’s constantly thinking some part of you needs a tweak?
I’m always striving for better, to be complacent and happy with what I have wouldn’t give me that daily hunger I have in the gym! Don’t get me wrong, I don’t wake up every morning analysing myself from top to toe in the mirror. Ermmmm ok ok that’s kind of lie I do that all the time lol
David, you’re a pretty funny guy. Do you think your body makes you even more attractive? Do you think there lots of guys out there who try to make themselves more appealing by bulking up?
A spicy set of biceps and naughty set of quads do a lot more talking in the bedroom then cracking one liners all evening! So yes, I believe men today are striving for those extra few inches all round. It’s tough on the streets out there, you gotta hit your baby doll with the physique and the humour.
Are you a believer in building muscle the natural or have you ever gone down the steroid route like some stars have done?
For me I’ve been content with pushing my body naturally, I’ve always been happy with the gains I get from making small adjustments to my lifestyle. I know for a fact if I don’t go out pissing it up on a Saturday night, come Monday morning I’ll be stronger and bigger. It’s all about knowing your body and after 20 years of training I know my body extremely well and I personally don’t need to take steroids to get to that next level
You had a moment when the tabloids were sniffing around you a lot. Do you enjoy the celebrity world?
The celeb world is extremely superficial. All the real friends I’ve met have mainly come from the military, but it’s nothing that shocks me. Being in the celeb world means you look out for yourself and do what’s right for you no matter who you step on! But that’s not me and I’ll never operate like that. If I ever have to be fake to get somewhere then I’ve failed myself
Who is the most famous person on your phone ?
Am I allowed to make some names up to sound cool!? Lol I actually don’t mix with many famous people, I try to keep my mates real.
You did Celebrity Big Brother – was that a good experience for you???
I’ll be honest, I was so excited to go in the house for the experience alone, but when I was in there, I couldn’t wait to get out! Things were getting heated between people and there was also zero food! After two weeks I came out like a skinny little dweeb boy. People say to me ‘aren’t you embarrassed for going out first? ‘ And I’m like, ‘Helllllll NO!’ In my eyes I was the winner I got paid and got out before getting into any serious altercations.
As far as how they portrayed me in there, I would say after watching it back I was surprised because I don’t think I got much air time at all, even though I was always up to stuff. I believe they just wanted to see me get down and dirty with one of the ladies.
Obviously being in the public eye, folks are always poking into your private life. Does that piss you off?
People don’t want to know about my private life, they just want to know dirt! They don’t care whether the story is true or false, they just want it to be bad. A good 90% of people out there feel better about themselves when they see shit written about someone. No one wants to see how amazing David McIntosh is or read about anything good he has done in his life. It’s sad!
Some of the press were very mean about you . Are you the kind of guy to take that to heart? Or are you a big softie underneath all that muscle?
Oh, some of the press were terrible! And for no reason. I’ve never done anything wrong by anyone. I served in the military for seven years and have done a lot for charity, more than a lot of the superficial air heads who are in the public eye! I just put it down to jealousy and intimidation. If I was 4ft 5, looked like shit and dated Gemma Collins, the press would wanna make me a superstar.
What’s the worst thing you read about yourself?
I’ve read so much crap about me, it’s laughable, like literally all of it’s false. But it makes a good read for all the people out there that feed off negativity. For example they contacted an ex of mine for a story and all she had to tell them were good stories about me. Do you think they wanted to print ‘David McIntosh the sweetheart, the gentleman’? Haha, not a chance! So they latched on to money hungry vipers who have no honour and would happily talk shit about me just to get some coppers for a boozy weekend and their mug shot in the paper.
Now, as your a handsome guy with a fab body, you must have loads of gay guys sniffing around. Do you enjoy their attention! We bet you encourage it?
Ohhhhhh I just love the gays! I do a lot of gay events around the globe, from charity shows to club nights and the thing that resonates most is there is always a judgement free atmosphere and everyone is just so happy and care free. And, of course you gotta give ’em a little sugar. You can’t walk in there like a stiff straight boy – I’ll be dancing with my top off like the rest of the cats!
Have you ever snogged a guy? Or played the, er, biscuit game?
Yes, I most certainly have played the biscuit game. Me and my grandad used to spend are Sunday afternoons watching old westerns whilst dipping our Hob Nobs in to smoking hot cups of tea, and seeing whose would go soggy and limp first. As for kissing guys? Well I must say, no dear sir. My treasured, succulent, honey coated crimson lips are promised to only the greatest of Queens.. Hmmm, I’m not quite sure that sounds right!
If you were gay for a day which celeb guy would fancy?
If I was gay for a day!? Oh sugar, I’d rock the whole community! No body’s filthy little mittens would teach this Queen bitch anything. I’d put on a devilish little leopard skin cat suit accompanied by a fierce set of knee high leather boots. I’d have four muscular brutes kitted out in biker gear carry me around central London in my royal chair. Obviously I’d have Prince blasting out on full volume. Ohhhhh, I’d be so nasty and so so rude!
Gulp! Has anyone ever come out to you?
That can’t be a serious question, have you seen my stern jaw Line and 3D iron-crafted abs! So, yes many a time! In fact it’s difficult to do a photo shoot without it happening, so now my new tactic is eat rotten onions for a week prior to any shoot. It’s simple and effective, I melt their faces before they even think of kissing my innocent lips.
We said come out to you!
When you were 16, what kind of person were you?
I was always very confident as a youth and was very head strong. I believe that’s what led me to joining the marines straight out of school and getting the job done. There was no calling home like a cry baby and quitting. That’s not me!
What kind of pupil were you?
I would say I was a star pupil! I would keep the class entertained and put the teachers in their place. I would always bring fresh apples to school every day for the teachers. Yes, me and my posey would end up throwing them at the young innocent French teacher, but that’s life. Nobody said teaching kids was gonna be easy but you made your choice of going to university and turning into a geek teacher, so you better believe your gonna pay the price.
Oh David, you are awful. Were you popular at school?
That’s a tough question. I was popular with the lads, but the girls… Hmmmm, how to put this….they hated me! But hey it wasn’t my fault they were crap kissers!
🕵 Ahhhhh Edward dear old boy, could you please re tell the history behind this splendid piece of artwork! 🎨 Now correct me if I'm wrong good sir, but one says its roots are of a tainted dark nature and trace back to the most feared man of the 16th century; the butcher of barons court 🗡Lord Earl James-rivington-smithe the 3rd? just bloody well remarkable…! yet of course it leads me to question how such a belligerent piece of art would fall into ones hands? You wouldn't be a liberal would you Edward…? I bloody well hate those liberal bastards and a trip to the gallows would be most sufficient hahahahaaaa Anyway I do digress, more wine would be welcomed to the highest degree, with a slither of ur wife's famed timperley rhubarb tartlet 😌🍷🍰 rah rah rah rah rahhhhhhh 🇬🇧 life of an English man 📸 @thejrwest #luxury #highend #kingdavid #malemodel #bespoke
Who was your teen crush? Have you met them since?
The only lady I have ever had a crush on is Jennifer Lopez Ohhhhh lawd, have sweet mercy on my untainted eyes. The Latino mama has been packing heat since the 90’s and that sugar train ain’t stopping anytime soon.
What kind of sex education did you have?
When I was just a little whipper snapper about six years old I remember two girls both about 14 taking me and my brother into the woods and practising their kissing techniques on us! Well, to be honest I just remember my face getting eaten! Yes I know what your thinking that sounds like child abuse. I’m not going to lie, it kind of was!
What would you say to your 16 year old self now?
I’m happy with all my choices in life! Well, actually I say that with a pinch of salt! Okay, maybe a large bag of salt. But whatever wrong choices I’ve made I’d learnt valuable lessons. Life isn’t all sugar drops and roses and now at 30 years old I can craft the right path for me from the valuable life lessons I’ve learnt thus far.
Bravo! If you had to do it all again, would you change a single thing?
I’ve lived the right life for me. I’ve enjoyed myself and hope to achieve much greater things, I’m excited for what’s ahead of me and wouldn’t change my past for a different possible future
There were some pics that emerged online of you showing off your tackle? We were impressed. Did you leak it yourself ?
It takes a hell of a lot more then a couple of seedy ass ‘n dick shots to embarrass me. But I was completely shocked, like a lot of people, to see them all online. They were most certainly not released by me.
You’ve shot a lot of saucy pics but what would it take to reveal all?
To reveal all it would take a lot!!!! I’m not taking about chippy dinner and a bottle of Lambrini. I want a five star slap-up meal with all the trimmings at T.G.I Friday’s.
And finally, what’s all this about you launching a wrestling career?
There is entertainment… There is adventure and there something extra special coming from David McIntosh this year. The dragon has been sleeping, now it’s time to rise and show people what time it is! Stay tuned, stay sexy and stay so soooooo rude!
Er thanks, David!