Here, GuysLikeU’s Robbie Dalgetty chats about how he ditched apps for meeting a guy in real life.
Being single in 2015 isn’t exactly the worst thing in the world. Because of the multi-mediated lifestyles we lead today, finding spare time is a luxury, one best kept for alone time. Gone are the days of watching the EastEnders omnibus alone, longing for Mr Right. We have constant communication with the world right at our fingertips, and existing on Facebook and Twitter means we are ‘doing something’ when we are doing nothing.
I know what you’re thinking, communication isn’t the same as a relationship, I mean what about sex? Easy, there’s an answer for that too. Grindr, Tinder, Plenty Of Fish, there’s a dating app for every type of person, which means that sex is no longer a factor the single man has to miss out on.
Nowadays guys pop up on your smartphone, ready to be browsed at as if they’re on the pages of an Argos catalogue, and if you’re lucky, you can have your selection delivered to your door within the hour. Fantastic right?
There was a long time when I believed that Grindr was indeed a force of good. Every time I felt lonely, bored, horny, sad, bored, happy, bored… the little orange app solved those feelings of discontent. And for a time, I felt great. But it didn’t last.
There comes a time where the lie of connectivity we are sold by these tech mating grounds start to fade. Suddenly sex becomes cold, robotic and false. Instead of fulfillment afterwards, guilt consumes you, and instead of connecting, we become isolated.
It’s at this point that reality dawns. It’s almost like remove the skull mask from the Grindr logo, and looking upon its true face. And believe me, it’s not a pretty sight.
It is only then you realise that what you have been looking for in each casual hook up hasn’t been sex, or connectivity, it’s actually intimacy that has been your greatest desire.
Sex is supposed to bring intimacy, connecting two people on a higher level, but this can never be achieved when your hooking up with someone you know only as BigLoadNSA. It requires an element of attraction, the type that we form when we meet people in the real world over time.
Elements of attraction run right from looks to a person’s aura, a spectrum that cannot be found when looking at a profile picture.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that the single man is doomed. What I’m saying is we have to get offline. For the first time in a long time I actually hooked up with someone I met in the real world, and it was unbelievable how alien it felt.
Our eyes met across the dance floor. It was clear there was an instant attraction, and we held the gaze. Smiling, he walked over to me and asked if I wanted a drink. I accepted, then accidentally spilled said drink on his jeans and we laughed. Oh how we laughed. A couple of hours later we found ourselves dancing closely to each other and then it happened – a kiss. In that one moment, I felt something I hadn’t in a long time – the beauty of a true first kiss.
As time went on, I discovered that he was an trolley dolly from Amsterdam, who was stopping over in Aberdeen for just one night. Normally I would call it coincidence, but the magic of the evening left me feeling like something greater had led us to this, so of course we left the club together.
The next day came before we had even had a chance to sleep. We talked and talked all night and the next day I left feeling like a million bucks, and although his job means we don’t see each other anymore, we still talk every now and again. But what made this different from a Grindr hook up, was the joyous intimacy of courting one another. The lead up, the excitement that builds up in your chest! It’s the greatest feeling imaginable.
So you see, single men can enjoy the thrill of sex and companionship, without the aid of social media. But we can have the best of both worlds, without being a slave to mobile phone.
It’s time we all rebelled against the tight grip hook-up apps hold over us, the revolution has come, and the only way to go is old school.