Matt Oakes: ‘I’ve just turned 32 and I’m still single! Should I be bothered?’

Christian GuiltenaneApril 2, 2016

So recently I celebrated my birthday and turned 32, and yes I am STILL single. Now over the last year or so I have really let that get to me. I would find myself scrolling through the Scruff and Grindr apps hoping to find a good looking, down-to-earth Prince Charming, only to get bombarded with dick pics and interest from guys on the other side of the world.

I even started putting myself out there more (a terrifying concept for me) going to new places to meet people, taking myself completely out of my comfort zone. I was beginning to feel like the male version of Bridget Jones…..but without and male love interests. But why was I putting myself through all this?

There is so much interest in celebrity couples, stories about who is dating who, or how so-and-so is coping after a break up – the media subliminally sends us a negative view on being single. There doesn’t seem to be much focus on the positive side of someone being happy and single. Even when a celeb makes a huge step and comes out publicly, the focus quite quickly shifts from that person coming out to who they are now dating?! Why can’t they just be a happy, single and gay?

Even in everyday life everyone seems to want to be in a relationship, to have that security and that any other alternative is such a bleak existence. I was once even asked by a person I had just met, if I had any kids….they completely skipped the ‘are you single’ because of my age making me feel AWFUL that now not only am I single but childless!

So now I’m another year older (not exactly wiser) I realised that I’m not really that bothered about being single. Don’t get me wrong I would love to meet someone and have a happy ever after, but right now it’s not really at the top of my list of things to do. I think I want to focus on me before I invest all my love and attention into anyone else.

To be honest, looking back I feel like now is a good time to start to try and building bridges with people I have hurt, or have hurt me and re-connecting with old friends and new ones. I want to now put the past behind me and start things from a completely new slate. And who knows? While I am busy making me a better me, maybe the perfect guy is right around the corner…….maybe!