David McIntosh is – dare we say – something of a delicious conundrum. With all that muscle and a penchant for not wearing many clothes, you’d expect him to be a bit of a doofus. But you know what? He’s not! This handsome former marine-cum-actor-cum-model is actually one of the smartest and wittiest guys you’ll meet. Really!
He might look like a typical rugged beefcake hunk with little to say aside from the odd grunt, but chew the fat with him for five minutes and you’ll discover that he has rather eccentric sense of humour. And he is a joy to spend time with. even if it’s just to gawp at his lush bod!
Sadly the fella is one hundred percent hetero, but he is the first to stand up for gay rights and is backing the campaign to get equal marriage passed in Australia. In this exclusive interview, featuring pics from his new underwear campaign for Rafael Wear, David reveals some very saucy stories plus offers some heartfelt and actually pretty emotional advice to young gay guys too scared to deal with bullies!
But first, we sat the fella down and asked the question thats been on our minds for yonks!
David, David, David, do you ever wear clothes????
Yessss yessss scream my name, let us delve deep into the world of King David. May I excite the cubs, bears, twinks and send some shivers down all the old queens spines! I live my life like a fierce, ferocious, nasty boy gone sweet! Which in plain English means NO clothes! Never! Someone get a Martini, I feel so so sexy right now!
Your body looks even more ridiculous than before…. do you spend hours just stroking your muscles?
Oh why thanks! My body is a contemporary piece of art in evolutionary progress. Combining the rough with the insanely sexy. I’m totally versatile with my looks. Sometimes I go for the pumped up big boy look and other times I go for the more delicate shy boy next door look. Keeps the crowds guessing and intrigued. I guess you could call me the Madonna of the muscle world
Do you think if you were a gay guy you’d turn yourself on?
The fluidity and intensity to some of my modelling work verges on life changing to some people when they witness it for the first time. I did a cowboy style shoot out in the good old south of Texas last summer. It was an advertisement for horse shampoo “stallion waves” I believe it was called. The sun was low, and the dusty ground bellowed out a hypnotic haze into the sun-kissed ranch air, the scene was seriously seductive! I posed back to back with a tall hard, black beast named James! My fingers slipped though his black silk main. We became one… beast and man unified! There was one point where the camera caught mine and James’s eyes fixated on each other, and in that very second I swear the sky’s alighted with passion, the world went silent. Well the ranch handler an old dirty redneck named Tom, collapsed to the floor and literally started to weep tears of joy . He was amazed how one man could portray so much innocence and beauty into this hate-filled world. I really touched his heart that day, shame he had to turn crazy and start private messaging me, requesting nudes in cowboy boots. My untouched beauty turned him into a sick pervert that summers day. God bless his wretched soul
You must have loads of girls coming on to you.. How do they do it? What are their techniques?
Oh lawd! Girls techniques seriously suck! One day I’m gonna write a book for women on how to pick up guys. A private message from a girl usually consists of one world “Hot…. Sexy ….Hey? …Cute.” Like seriously, how is a guy supposed to respond to that? Well, I suppose it’s all you can expect in the world where originality no longer exists. It’s such a shame, because if they decided to take a few lessons in creative writing, some of these ladies might have got a good seeing too! Let that be lesson number one, girls, if you want dick stay educated.
Whose worse – boys or girls when it comes to touching you in saucy places?
They’re both as bad as each other! They all find it hard to keep their devilish mitts off my golden tackle. Well, what can you say “boys will be boys” and “girls will be sluts”! Hmmm, I think that’s the saying anyway.
Naughty! Are you single at the moment?
Totally depends on wether or not my wife will be reading this [we think he’s kidding], but I believe for the interest of the cock and ass hungry public we will go down the route of single…single and SINGLE!
When you get frisky and you’re single how do you solve the problem?
We all know the answer to this….Redtube! It’s the saviour of mankind! Totally stress free and you know exactly what you’re getting. You type in “slim slender Russian whore” that’s what you get – nice and easy no hidden costs! You go on Facebook and find yourself a “slim sexy babe” and you end up wasting a few vital days in a sexual debate, just for her to finally come over and she’s in fact a “big fat busty babe” now we’re is the honour in such a crime like that.
Do you have a black book of women who you can call upon?
That book was burned in the fiery pits of hell many many years ago! There was far to many monsters lurking within them pages, it could of been a best selling horror novel for sure.
When it comes to sex are you pretty traditional in the way you perform it.
Handcuffs, duct tape and a few other instruments you may or may not have heard of. So yes I guess I’m pretty traditional and straight down the line.
You mentioned a threesome before – have you ever enjoyed a bout of passion with even more people than that?
Flash back to Thailand 2003 where sex was cheap and Ladyboys were proper men who drank pints. Anyway I picked up two real bangers in the discotheque, who were truly impressed by my John Travolta dance moves. They propositioned me to come back to their tin shack for a night of free sex. That’s right people! You know your on top of your game when you don’t pay for sex in Thailand.
The three of us jumped on a shitty little moped and headed to their joint. There were no streets lights, just the glimmer of the rats eyes lighting up the shanty town which they called home. I entered their place where another three smoking Thai chicks in hot pants and vests were sitting. I was truly being blessed this evening, I dropped back on to the pissed stained mattress and got touched and mauled from all angles.
But…… Yes, there is a but before I got a chance to rip off my knick knacks and delve in deep, an uncontrollable pain tore through my stomach like steam train. It was the street food repeating on me. I held my farts in for too long, the pain was real and I started to sweat. I had two options – have them see me empty my rotten stomach into in the hole in the corner of the room and gas them out. Or escape with my dignity. I chose the latter I ran out of that tin shack leaving six stunning babes behind, tears dripping down my face and shit rolling down my leg. Such an emotional evening I will never forget.
If a girl asked for another guy to join your for a fun time would you go for it?
Not my style! I’m like a ferocious carnivore set on its timid prey. The last thing I’d want or wish for is Johnny boy slim trying to touch my meat and two veg whilst I’m shaking the chambers of sweet little Suzie.
If a guy pal asked you to have a threesome would you?
If the woman was over 500lbs and it was a two man team to bring down her foundations, then of course. Who am I to deny the well built females of this world
There was a story this weekend in the papers about a rugby team performing sex acts on each other as a team bonding thing – you were in the marines – did that go on there?
That’s classified material your asking for there! Ok if you insist, I guess the only thing I was privy to in the marines was being forced to drink piss or being pissed on. That’s part of the “joining run” when you pass out of training. You get tortured in so many ways for hours! Toilet role shoved up your ass and set on fire, beaten and whipped. Oh the bitter memories I must stop.
Have you ever had any sex disasters?
Yes yes and yes!!! I was speaking to this smoking hot Mexican chick for quite some time. Eventually she invited me over to her house whilst I was visiting LA. Things got a bit spicy and damn when I say this tasty mamasita could kiss she really took me to school. She had big fake lips and a tongue that could choke the shit out of you. Her hands were performing magic tricks like the late great Paul Daniels’ apprentice. I was trying to go the full nine yards but after probably a full nine seconds it proved to much for me and she finished me off before anything even got started. I left the apartment like a cowering puppy.
Wow! She just have been pretty good!
There is twisted blessing to this story though. I put my mate in touch with her to see if he could put on a better show. i called him back four months later to see how he got on and it turns out my sweet Mexican lady friend was actually a dude and was actually packing a fully loaded burrito. I was a seasoned veteran of Thailand with five trips under my belt and still couldn’t sniff out this betrayal. When I thought I was smooching with sweet Esmerelda I was really getting my face eaten by one of the Diaz brothers.
In Australia gay guys still can’t get married like they can in the UK. what do you make of that! Kylie says she wont marry until the law changes in protest!
I believe people of the same sex should 100% be able to enter a binding partnership and get the same rights as everyone else. But if it’s not labeled as marriage ‘on paper’ so what. Marriage is just a word of the church let them use it who cares! Isn’t being gay all about embracing difference.
Which celeb lady is on your radar and what is it about her you like about her.
Jennifer Lopez, she’s 47 and ferociously hot. She can spoil me rotten until her hips give way and her pension runs out
These days everyone seems to admit to being sexually fluid (i.e., they’ll do it with anyone if the fancy takes them) Are you one of those guys?
Not at all, I’m honest to my beliefs and who I am, I love to embrace difference and expect everyone but stay solidly true to who I am. I couldn’t fathom suddenly at this stage in my life getting with a guy for the fun of it. Just like a gay guy wouldn’t and couldn’t entertain the thought of sleeping with a woman. Too many people have no core value of what they are and slut their body around in what ever way they seem to be in trend.
There will be many gay guys disappointed to hear that you won’t dabble…
I’m sorry if I’ve shattered many a gay mans heart, but saying this buy me a few shandys and I could be anyone’s naughty little girl for the night! Hahaha joke!
Do you believe in safe sex – do you practise it always – any scares?
Safe sex of course! I do my stretches for a good five mins before any intercourse! We all know what happened in the story with me and the circus girls let that be a lesson to all! Stretches before sex, oh and always keep your socks on to prevent getting a cold.
What advice would you give to a gay guy who’s being bullied at school?
Own who you are! People prey on weakness! If you’re gay then you better be a big, strong proud gay that just doesn’t give a shit. People can’t bully you for something you’re proud of being. How can their words effect you if you love who you are? They will soon grow tired of name calling when they see it has zero effect and you may be surprised many may actually start being your friends as they will stop seeing your sexuality as a vulnerable weakness to exploit. But let them start seeing the real confident you and don;t let them judge you just on your sexual preference.
What kind of underwear makes you feel sexy?
As you know I’m just about to release my hot new underwear and swim line called Raphael. Lawd have mercy on our sweet innocent souls – the designs and fabrics are just to die for. Finally a chance for me to release my diverse vision of life through fashion, so all you guys out there can finally be a hot nasty bitch just like me.
Have you ever worried about the size of your member?
No, but I can certainly give you the telephone numbers of ladies who will give a valid testimony in front of an honourable judge, with regards of my equipment.
You did CBB a couple of years back – what reality show would you like to do next?
I’m in Los Angeles where I’m about to start filming for a big show on E! Entertainment, I’m back baby and ready to set this shit on fire!
Pics by Matheus Lian
See ore of these sexy designs at raphaelwear.com